She's supposed to let me know if the victim witness advocate that I asked for is available for my court date and able to take my case. It's stressful just because waiting in general is stressful, but also I keep thinking I'm being difficult just for wanting this switch.
Even though I thought I could push this out of my mind again I'm finding myself really anxious about testifying. Just knowing that my grandmother is going to be there to support him makes my stomach turn. I'm really scared of testifying in front of him. I know it's stupid, it happened a long time ago, but his threats still ring true and I'm afraid that if I testify, that no matter what the outcome is, he's going to hurt me. It's crazy because he's already hurt me in the worst way possible and here I'm worried about what? Being punched, hit, shot? It's ridicules. I just keep telling myself that if he has the self preservation to deny what he did to me that he's not going to risk getting caught for something else. At least that thought comforts me a little.