The trial I mean. I'm nervous. I keep thinking about all of the possible outcomes. None of the options will make it go away. He still raped me.
The worst thing, if I lose will be that he'll realize he can get away with doing awful things, and perhaps hurt somebody else. I also just don't want him to be able to pretend he didn't hurt me. I don't want to feel like he was believed and not me. It hurts, and it's frightening.
All I can do is wait.