From the beginning

So, I realized I didn't explain the process of how I went about reporting what my uncle did to me to the police.  Well, I did some research first to find out who I should report to, as I already said I reported in the wrong county at first because I didn't see anything to tell me definitively which county I needed to report it to.  This mistake caused the process to take longer, and once my statement got to the correct county I had to be requestioned and go through my whole statement again.

What I found out in my research was that I had a choice; I could go to the regular police station and make a report with whatever officer I happened to get or I could call and speak to a detective from my county's special victim's unit and make an appointment to go in and give my statement to them.  I chose to do the latter.  Honestly the deciding factor was that when I called I was given a female detective and I felt much more comfortable giving my statement to a woman and didn't want to risk getting a male detective.  Also, I thought it would be less scary to walk into an office building rather then the police station.  This may be different in other counties or states, but both SVU units I've dealt with in two different counties in my state were housed in an office building and not the police department.

In my research and in my advocacy training I've heard horror stories of people who went to the police and were not believed or were discouraged.  This made me really appreciate that I had the option of going directly to the Special Victims Unit and filing a report that way.  I would definitely recommend looking into this if you are thinking about reporting.  The most appealing thing about the SVU to me is that they are trained to deal with rape survivors, and also that they are in that field because they care about the subject and want to help survivors.  In my advocacy experience though I can also say that I have not personally encountered a police officer that treated a rape survivor negatively, or that didn't seem like they believed her.  I think that a lot of times all we see are the horror stories because people who complain are more likely to want to be heard than people who've had a good experience.  Also, I think that in the last ten or so years there has been a lot more training of the general police regarding sexual assault, and a lot more education around victims, so I would like to believe that if you were to file a report regarding sexual assault with the regular police you would have just as good of an experience reporting as I did.

For me reporting to the Special Victims Unit detectives was definitely the right choice.  Reporting was really difficult, and I'll go into more about that next time, but the SVU detectives made it as easy as was possible.

So, I saw an article on Scott Brown

I started thinking about how wonderful it was that he was finally able to come forward about the sexual assault he suffered as a child.  I always think it's great when people in the public eye come forward, it's often a necessary reminder that I'm not alone in what I've gone through, and I find it comforting as I'm sure plenty of other survivors feel.

My second thought was that this abuser is still out there possibly abusing other children, with years of practice.  It's so sad that now that Senator Brown is at a place where he can talk about his abuse he no longer has the option of reporting what he survived as a crime and having charges pressed against his abuser.

I was lucky that I was able to tell my story while I still had the option of pressing charges.  I'm grateful for that every day because reporting my abuser felt like a load had been taken off my back.  I no longer felt like I was responsible if he hurt another person in the way he hurt me.  That relief was such a good feeling to have.

Even though it felt like I waited forever to tell anybody what happened to me, it was almost twenty years after the abuse occurred, I have since learned that it's not infrequent for it to take survivors of child sexual assault even longer to come forward.  It shouldn't be too late for those survivors to seek justice.  The people who have abused them may have abused other children who have also been pressured into silence, and if it takes so long and so much strength to come forward why would we want to risk the safety of future children by having a statute of limitations on reporting sexual assault.  Sexual assault is so humiliating and so difficult and time consuming to recover from, why do we further hurt survivors by not allowing them the opportunity for justice?

I believe that the statute of limitations on sexual assaults should be either extended or the limitations should be completely thrown out.  Particularly with such a sensitive crime as sexual assault.  The justice system is not just to seek justice for the crimes against one person, but it's also there to protect the public from a criminal re-offending, and with such stringent statutes of limitations we're not protecting the public.

Everyone should have an opportunity to seek justice.  I'm so very grateful for mine.

Today I received my summons

Because it's technically the State(Commonwealth) pressing charges against my uncle, as the victim I am also the witness to the crime and therefore have to be subpoenaed for the trial.  Unfortunately, as the first person I told my story to, my boyfriend was also subpoenaed for the trial.  This means he won't be able to be in the courtroom to support me when I have to testify and is the cause of a lot of my anxiety.

It kind of sucks that the ADA mailed the summons out so early because it brings the trial back to the forefront of my mind.  I've been having a lot of trouble pushing this out of my mind since the last court date where the trial was supposed to happen, and receiving the summons isn't going to help me with that.  Opening the mail to find the summons has definitely brought my day down a notch.